Life was good and I lived happily ever after.
Except I didn't.
I hit the golden moment. I won the prize. I even stayed there for a while. I ran a half marathon and attended reunions. Lots of kudos, lots of compliments. I was bullet-proof
Then I slacked off. All the lessons I'd learnt, all the smarts I had disappeared. I kept telling myself - I'll lose weight soon. Oh that top must have shrunk in the wash. Those jeans never fit right. Lies and self deceptions.
On the weekend, as part of my ebay clean out, I sorted through my trunk of clothes. Outfits I'd forgotten mocked me with their smallness. They fit me once but that time was long, long ago. Maybe this is shallow, maybe this is weak, but I felt like crying looking at those clothes. The size 11 jeans, the tiny little mini skirt and my absolute favourite red and white polka dot dress.
They are just clothes. Just clothes. I can buy more and I have bought more but it feelslike giving up. Laying down and meeting defeat.
When I started losing weight, I kept things very simple. But, as time went on, I read more about weight lose, about running, about fitness. My head got filling to overflowing with a glut of information, most of it conflicting. I had to do more - eat more protein, eat less carbs; train with intervals, lift more, blah, blah, blah. I felt guilty if I went to the gym and only did ONE class. Some days I spent 3 hours or more at the gym.
My head nearly exploded with all the 'coulds' and 'shoulds' and trying to reach pefection.
I want to get back to where I was when I started losing weight. Back then, I had a few simple rules:
- Log everything I eat. I didn't count calories, I didn't analyse, I just tracked.
- Exercise every day. It can be pilates or yoga or a walk. Those types of things are good too.
- Water. Drink it. All the time.
- Before I eat something, think about if I want it. If I REALLY want it. Most of the time, I don't.